The Unheard Tale of The Great Canterlot Heist
by Lemuractionnews
Summary: My explanation of how the elements of Harmony were stolen from Canterlot Castle.


It was a dark and muggy night in Canterlot that evening, the air hung like a liquid in the cold darkness. But among this darkness and cold was a light burning hot and bright among the neverending black of the midnight sky.  
>"Put that out, you'll give away our position!" Hoge said, pulling his black mask over his pudgey face.<br>"I just needed to relax before we started." Rankshaw said defensively while putting the ciggarette out on his pinstriped suit and pulling his own black mask over his chiseled features.  
>"You guys ready?" asked dean as he pulled a purple mask over his scraggly face and pulled out his m4.<br>"I'm always ready; it's Hoge that is always keeping us bogged down." Hickly said, also pulling a dark mask over his round face.  
>"Well get a move on, all of you" Dean said in a businesslike tone. It took the group only a minute to pull out their weapons, plant the charges on the side of the castle, and to get to a safe distance. "You're the leader Dean, on your mark." Rankshaw said tensely. "Hit it."<br>Rankshaw squeezed the clackers and a huge wave of pure heat and sound erupted from the wall of the elegant castle. A huge hole desecrating the silent beauty of the ancient fortress, a pile of rubble around the blast site, and a siren going off in the distance. "Hurry up, we got 5 minutes." Dean ordered. The group moved inside cautiously, like a platoon of soldiers expecting an ambush, looking for the guard posts they had seen while scouting the castle out the night before. They slowly moved out of the room they had entered in to a small hallway lined with strange potted plants from all over equestria. Making no noise whatsoever the group turned down a side hallway to the first guard post and was immediatly met with 15 armed guard ponies. "Shit, they knew we were coming..." Hoge muttered to himself as he threw his fat body behind a pillar that barley provided enough cover for the large man. Both side opened fire in a flash of muzzle flare and bullets, but the team had already found cover before any of the enemy bullets found a destination.  
>"Well, looks like we do plan b then guys." Dean yelled to his comerades over the gunfire. Hickly smiled and said:<br>"Screw plan b, lets do plan C4 HAHAHA!" He rummaged around in his duffle bag until he found what he was looking for, a bag of extra C4. They had rehearsed this at least a dozen times and they all knew what to do. Hickly nodded at Dean and the rest of the crew and then, with a crazy evil smile, he threw the bag over the bust he was hiding behind and screamed:  
>"Light em' up!"<br>The bag landed just in front of the advancing guards and before they had time to react all four men they were trying to capture had popped out from cover and shot at the green bag before them. The explosion knocked them back like a fire truck hitting a ragdoll, except the truck was flying through the air and was hotter than any eplosive they had yet experienced. Hoge slowly picked himself off the floor and gazed at the destruction spread before him. All the guards lay lifeless on the floor, some in weird or grotesque positions. Hoge rubbed his head and looked around to the rest of the team. Dean was slumped over Hickly pumping his chest and saying:  
>"You're not dead."<br>"I'm hurt!" A cry came from a corner. Rankshaw was clutching his clutching his calf where a large shard of glass protruded like a dagger. Hoge ran over and opened his bag. Inside was various medical supplies used to patch up the team when something of the sort ocurred.  
>"This is gonna hurt like a motherfucker" Hoge said grimly as he handed rankshaw a rag which he promptly wedged into his own mouth. Hoge reached out for the shard of glass lodged in Rankshaw's leg, his fat fingers stretched out for the peice of glass. A sharp pang of exruciating pain shot from Rankshaw's leg and reverberated all over his body, his teeth sunk into the rag as his face screwed up in agony. Hoge poured some whiskey from a flask onto the open wound and said:<br>"Thats all I can do until we get back to the hideout" as he hurriedly screwed the cap back onto the flask. As Hoge picked Rankshaw off of the floor he saw dean still slumped over Hickly, he was weeping silently.  
>"Come on Dean, we have to go now" He said walking over to him. Dean jumped up in fury, for a moment it seemed as if he was going to imbed his fist into Hoge's nose but slowly his complection softened and he said:<br>"I'm sorry...on with the mission I guess"  
>"We wasted to much time here, how long do you think we still have" He replyed as they started jogging in the direction of their target.<br>"I don't know, they knew we were coming there could be anything up ahead. I say we take our time." Dean said with a deadpool expression. A few guards tried to surprise the group but were quickly silenced by Dean as he fired upon them coldly. Before long they had made it to their destination. The elegant painting merely hung there on the wall, no one suspected what it really was. "Ok, plant the thermite" Dean odered to the other two. Rankshaw, limping like a 3 legged cat, took a handfull of brown pellets from his bag and duct-taped them right on the painstaking brushed watercolors of the painting. Then he strung a fuse and lit it. The flame got to the end of its ropey timer and made it to the pellets; An ungodly bright light permeated throughout the grand chamber. It wouldn't be long until they were through the metal conceiled by the painting and into the treasures inside. "Just give it time" Rankshaw remembered Hickly saying while playing a game of pool with him one day "and it will make you dreams come true".  
>The painting was in a large tall-roofed throne room complete with large expensive carpet that ran the length of the chamber. The floor was made of shiny marble that made a clack sound as the men's dress shoes impacted on it's hard surface. The long room had many grand windows, painted with scenes from history, tall steeds banishing great evils from the ancient world. Ornate ceiling crests and chandeliers hung like moss from an old forgotten sloop. A great gilded throne stood in the middle of the room, the gems encrusted in the sides still sparkeling even in the dark.<br>The beautiful windows shattered as SWAT ponies grappled in through them; Painted shards of glass blew all around in a flurry of color. Boots thumped onto the hard floor, vases knocked over, hand carved trinkets from distant provinces splintered.  
>"HOGE!" Dean screamed. Hoge was guarding another hallway that lead into the chamber when he heard the call. He immediatly turned his massive body to see a force of 30 SWAT approaching them. The group bunched up into a small formation and held their ground. Rankshaw was laying against the wall and firing his m4 in panic, he glaned over to look at the thermite's progression and saw that it had almost melted all the way through.<br>"Guys, the shit is almost melted!" He cried out. The room was disintegrating around them, bullets destroying all the beauty that had once lingered in the room. The dull hum of the insanely hot fire melting the steel behind the painting rang in the team's ears like the hiss of a snake. KER-THUMP!  
>What was left of the 5 ft. thick steel doors crashed into the interior of the vault, the resulting boom echoed through the entire castle and seemed to make the Officers fight harder. More police came in through the doors that the crew had entered from and joined the fray. It would not be long before the three of them would be overrun. "Hoge cover me" Dean said as he ducked behind the throne. Hoge took his place and began firing in short bursts at the advancing police. Neither of them saw Dean unzip his duffle bag and load the weapon, nor did they see him heave the rocket launcher onto his shoulder and then stand up. Rankshaw looked to his right and then saw Dean.<br>"Been saving this for a rainy day" Dean muttered under his breath.  
>"...holyyyy...shit..." was all rankshaw could mutter as an eplosion rocked the ground and 5 police were sent into the air. The structure groaned and a marble column fell to its side.<br>Dean immediatly dropped everything and ran to the only safe place there was at the moment, the reinforced vault that held their treasure. Hoge waddled over to Rankshaw and lifted him over his shoulder then sprinted into the vault. About twelve seconds later another massive groan from the very core of the walls preceeded the roof collapsing and the vault door to be sealed with rubble.

It was pitch black until Hoge lit a flare and tossed it into the center of the room. Rankshaw and Dean has found it, a small teak box.  
>"Gentlemen, I would like to precent to you, the elements of harmony." Dean said. His face looking very crazy in the red flare light. Dean opened the box and gazed at the jewels inside. 5 jewel encrusted necklaces and 1 jewel encrusted tiara were crammed into the tiny box. Dean took the tiara and a necklace with a orange jewel that looked like an apple then placed each inside his empty duffle bag. Hoge let his eyes soak in the radience of the otherworldly gems in front of him before finally choosing to carry a necklace with a ruby in the center cut to look like a lightning bolt and one with a sapphire in the middle. Rankshaw refused to get up at this point so Dean brought him the remaining peices of jewelry. Rankshaw slugged deeply on his last remaining cigarette and took the necklaces handed to him, one with a pink gem cut to resemble a butterfly and one with a simple yet beautiful triangular cut purple stone. The gold glittered softly in the flare light and cast a certain charm on the men, yet, it wasnt enough to make them reconsider the deal they were about to make. Dean closed the box and laid it exactly as he found it. He took a step back just to make sure it looked right and said:<br>"Ok, that should buy us all of three seconds when they find this place" Dean said as he grinned a little bit. For a minute they all sat in silence and thought. They thought about Hickly, How the heist hade gone so ary, and how much they would get for this loot. Dean got up and without saying a word walked over to a vent and pulled the grate off.  
>"After you" Rankshaw said looking at hoge with an outstretched hand pointed towards the hole in the wall. Hoge got down on his stomach and crawled into the hole in which he barely fit, the rest followed suit.<br>Hoge poked his head out of the vent and pryed his hands out from his sides. He placed them on the ground and felt the dewey grass and sighed. Hoge put his hands on the wall and pushed with all his strength, trying to free himself from the vent, he was stuck.  
>"Guys...i'm stuck." Hoge said, embarassed.<br>"Well god FUCKING damn it!" Rankshaw yelled from inside the shaft "We survive all this just to be stopped by Hoge's FAT ASS!"  
>"You son of a bitch, I should have left to to die in there!" Hoge spat back at him.<br>"Shut the hell up, both of ya." Dean said, annoyed. Dean, who was behind hoge pushed him from behind. Picking up on Dean's plan Hoge pushed again and he slowly popped out onto the ground. Hoge got up and brushed himself off and helped the other two out of the vent. They were outside of the castle, in a sparsly used part of the castle grounds. Dean looked up and saw a pegasus fly overhead looking intently at the ground, searching for them.  
>They got down on their stomachs and used the darkness combined with their black tuxedos as a camouflage. Slowly they crawled towards their next objective: finding the meeting place where they would meet with their employer. The designated meeting place was a barn on the outskirts of canterlot. To get there they would have to not be seen at all. None of them had their guns, they had dropped them when the roof caved in, to confront the authorities at this point would be suicide. It started to sprinkle a bit as they inched along, trying their best to stay out of sight. The ground was becoming a mud fest, instead of crawiling they slipped along the saturated soil as the rain fell continually harder. Eventually they came to a steep hill and in trying to climb it they slid down the hill like pucks on an ice rink. Dean slid down for a third time and got a facefull of mud, the dirt hindered all his movement, and seeped into his mouth. Dean tasted the horrible taste of the dirt the taste...it...it was sweet? Dean looked up at the rain and realized it was not rain at all, it was brown.<br>"What in gods name" he breathed, letting some of the rain fall into his hand to make sure he wasn't imagining all this out of pure exuastion. "The rain...what the fuck?" he whispered to the others, shaking it off his hand, scared.  
>"Where are the sentries?" Rankshaw asked, looking to a pegasusless sky. They got up onto their feet and noticed a strange glow coming from the inner city. With their mobility not hindered by trying to be stealthy they were able to ascend the hill and look down upon the city, which was in absolute chaos. Buildings were on fire, popcorn flowed through the streets, and wild mutated creatures lurked in the back alleys. Pegasi flew over the city trying to help civilians escape the city. They gazed at it wondering what was going on, trying to make sense of it all, even Dean, the born leader and focus on the mission type of guy had to stop and look at this absolutly hectic scene unfolding in the streets below.<br>After about 3 wordless minutes they looked at each other and mentally understood each other, there was nothing they could have done. The group jogged the rest of the way to the barn they all had agreed on the night before. Hoge's heart pounded as he pushed the doors open and he saw him patiently waiting in a chair in the middle of the barn. They all walked in, and discord put a fake confused face on.  
>"What happened to your fourth member?" He asked in his suave voice.<br>"Hickly died saving us, speaking of which, there was a lot more heat there than you said there would be!" Dean said, his east coast accent more than prevelent. This outburst amused discord, he grinned and said:  
>"This job was a little too easy for gentlemen of your calibur so I evened the odds a bit, thats all". They were dumbstruck.<br>"Is this a fucking game to you! OUR FRIEND IS DEAD. FOR GODS SAKE WE GREW UP TOGETHER!". Dean's voice trailing off at the end.  
>"How cute, are you going to give me the elements or what". discord said impatiently. Hoge shifted his weight back and forth nervously. Rankshaw propped himself up next to a beam and attempted a nap.<br>"Answer me some questions first" Dean said looking discord in the eye "What the HELL is going on out there" he said pointing towards the door of the barn.  
>"A beautiful thing mister Vecksworth, a new world order, I am freeing this land from the bonds of sense". This made Dean even more confused. sensing this Discord merely said "Don't try to understand".<br>"Did we have a part in this?"  
>"You kickstarted my plan, if it was not for this victory I could not begin freeing this land" he replied. This made Dean's heart sink, he had always been a theif but he had never caused anything like he had seen in the streets of canterlot that night. Then he thought of the prize.<br>"I trust the arrangements are still the same" Dean asked looking up from his guilt.  
>"They are" Discord smiled widely and continued "Twenty million U.S. Dollars for each of you" he pointed at several breifcases piled in the corner. "Each contains 10 million exactly". Discord brought one over and showed them that it was true. Looking at all this money made Dean feel worthless, a shell of himself.<br>"The cops will be all over this, we weren't polie at all" Hoge said speaking up for the first time and also bringing a good issue to the table.  
>"Oh don't worry, i'll just wipe all of their minds and put the castle back in time". Discord said casually.<br>"If you can do that why couldn't you just get this shit yourself!" Dean said throwing his duffle bag over to discord. He caught it and then received the other bags from the other two and said:  
>"That particular vault was protected by alicorn magic, all attempts by me to penetrate this would be fruitless, this is why I recruited people from your plane of existance, your weapons dont inact any magical interferance so tearing through the vault was quite easy for you." he paused the continued to say "Also it was a lot of fun watching you" he said pointing to a scrying glass over on a table in the distant corner of the barn.<br>Discord Threw two breifcases to each man and then waved his hands to open a portal. The portal glowed in a pale green hue.  
>"This will drop you gentlemen off in lower Brooklin" He said in that suave, snakelike tone again "How about it Mr Vecksworth? Does home sound good to you?". Dean looked into the swirling abyss and knew it was either this strange world that was slowly turning into hell or his plush bed in his apartment, home is all he wanted at this point. Dean plunged his body into the portal and let it lift him away from all that had hapened. He was fianlly done.<p>

-A.R. Isley


End file.
